So we ran away to the west coast for two weeks and left our garden. Pretty much worst garden parents ever. Friends stopped by and watered every once and a while, which meant our plants stayed alive (hooray!), but since it was chicago and summer and they were very thirsty they were a little worse for the wear when we returned.
Thus, our tomatoes developed (dum dum dum) BLOSSOM END ROT. (Obviously I had to google the symptoms to find out the disease. I am not a plant doctor.)
Pictorial evidence of the plague:
So sad, right?!?! But don't worry, there are a gazillion more tomatoes in line to take those rotten tomatoes' (ha!) place. AS WELL AS delicious serrano peppers, which we have been eating a bunch of lately: